Want to change your life? You need to change first!

How often do you hear or say the following?

‘If I only had more money’
‘If I had a better job'
‘If I was thinner’
‘If I had more friends’
‘If I met someone who really loved me’
‘If I lived in a better house’
‘If I had a better car’
‘If I had more time’

'Then I would be happier and life would be better'!

We would all like to have more money, a better job, be thinner etc. However, having more in our lives does not make us happier and definitely does not give us more time. Time is one thing that is equal for all of us - we all have 24 hours in a day! 

How we feel and what actions we take are related to our world within.  The truth is if we change the world around us it might make us happy for a while; however to have true long term happiness we need to change our life within first. By changing your mentality it will impact on your habits and your actions.

I hear you say, 'Yes that is all well and good, but how do I do that?' It's not just about how do I change? I'm afraid change is not easy, otherwise we would all change for the better. We are creatures of habit, even if that habit does not serve us anymore or is painful. However if you follow some simple rules, change within is  completely possible. The rewards of changing our inside world is feeling happier and more fulfilled. 

5 simple rules to change your world within

​1) Look at who you believe you are. How do you define yourself? As we all act consistently with who we believe we are.  If you define yourself as a smoker or shy, then that's the way you will act. We define who we are over the years and then do not question it. Let's say you believe you are a shy person. When did you define yourself as that? When did you put that limitation on yourself? Does that still serve you. Our beliefs are like a glass ceiling above us that we can't see, but we do not believe we can break through it! We are who we think we are, so isn't it time to redefine yourself?

2)  Look at the language you use. How often do you tell yourself that you can't do something or that someone else is better than you? Really look at the language you use to yourself?  Would it be acceptable to talk to someone else the way you talk to yourself? I guess not!?! Firstly you need to stop your internal voice doing the following: criticising, catastrophising, being negative and dwelling on past events. An easy exercise that is really beneficial in stoping unhelpful self talk is to shout 'stop' really loud in your mind every time this happens. Then say to yourself 'I am enough'. You may find at first you are doing this a lot to start with! However as the days go by you will find that you need to do this less and less.  It's like your mind realises you will not tolerate unhelpful self talk so it stops doing it. Remember you are what you think.

3)  To be different, we need to act differently. As I said, humans are creatures of habit. We like to sit in the same seats, use the same locker at the gym, put our feet in our shoes in the same order. Just try putting the other foot in first for a change and see how strange it feels! We don't seem to notice that if you break down every day to day details like how we put on our clothes, clean our teeth, make our breakfast for example, how much of a day is exactly the same as yesterday and the day before and the day before?  They say that at least 80% of each day is repeated daily. No wonder we want change so much and can't understand why it doesn't happen.  Albert Einstein said that insanity was 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'. Unfortunately that's how many people live their lives. Think about what you want in your life and take action. You only have to change a few small things and it can make a great difference in your life and how you feel.

4)  Raise you standards.  If someone has high standards in a part of their life, they  have great results.  For example, if someone has a toned body and were in great shape, then their standards would be to workout and eat healthily. Remember wants in life do not get met consistently, your needs will! If you want to lose weight or stop smoking then chances are you won't.  However if you need to lose weight or stop smoking you will find a way by raising your standards. If you see it as a goal - 'I want  to lose weight' it can feel like hard work and negative. However is you see it as a vision - 'I am going to be healthy, energised and fitter than I've ever been. It feels more positive and that you are gaining something that is worthwhile. You feel like something inside has changed as you are taking control of you from within

5)  Stop making excuses. It is so easy to say 'I'll do it tomorrow' or 'I can't be bothered' or 'I'm too tired' or 'I haven't enough time'.  Just remember the more you do something, the quicker it becomes a new habit. I know you are fighting change with every fibre of your mind and body. However you are what you think! If you make what you want to change a priority, you will find a way and the time  - schedule it into your day so it's a must.

'Your thoughts become your words, your words become your behaviour, your behaviour becomes your habits, your habits become your values and your values before your destiny' - Mahatma Gandhi.

​Therefore instead of thinking, 'if only my life was different then I could have the life I want', look at changing within as that is where real change happens. 

​I hope you have found this blog interesting and if I can help in anyway please contact me.

Believe in yourself

Ali

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