At the moment and over the last few months most people’s lives have been an uphill struggle. This is mainly because our everyday lives have had to change so drastically. We have had to adapt to deal with being furloughed, home schooling, isolation, not being able to see and hold our loved ones, queuing for our food shopping etc…
As we are creatures of habit and let's face it, we took our lives for granted, this has pushed us way out of our comfort zones. Also all these changes and the constant bombardment about covid 19 in the media has been stressful and worrying for most people. However we can adapt and change, we are stronger than we think, we have had time to actually think about what we really want in our lives.
So many of us have managed to live without all the extra material things we constantly brought to make us feel ‘happy' and to keep up with our peers. Yes life has been difficult, but it has been simpler at the same time. We have managed to spend more time with our immediate family, which is what most children want more than anything. We have used technology to contact family and friends, and in a lot of circumstances spoken to friends whom we have not been in contact with for a while. We have actually had time to talk, listen and catch up via Zoom, Skype or phone.
However for a lot of people on the frontline; doctors, nurses, care workers, ambulance drives, emergency services, shop workers, transport workers etc their uphill struggle has been very different. With some not seeing their family for weeks to protect them, working long hours, facing their fears about the virus and doing it anyway. They have had a very steep uphill struggle.
As the saying goes ‘we are in the same storm, but we are all in different boats!’ Let’s hope the storm will start to move away and we can get to the top of the hill and take in the wonderful views. After all the changes we have had to go through we will see our view very differently, we will not take everyday life for granted, we will see that happiness is from inside us and not what we can have or buy. We will love the people in our lives more and tell them how much they mean to us.
Just think what your life will look like if we take on board all the lessons over the last few months and see more clearly the view from the top of the hill!
Everything is possible if you try and you keep working at it!
Many people say things are ‘impossible’. However when you really think about it you can see that almost anything is possible.
There is always a way to make things work if you work at it and keep trying. Things can be possible if we really want them to be possible and make the time for them. Life is all about making priorities and making time for those priorities.
I know sometimes things feel like they are impossible. You either do not know where to start, or have tried everything you can think of and you haven’t managed to work it out.
The main thing to remember is every failure is just another way of finding out how not to do something and a step closure to finding how to make it possible.
Sometimes we have to help people out or ask for help when things seem impossible so that we make things possible. Next time ask for help when something seems impossible and try to figure out how to make it possible together. That might mean just talking it through or it might mean you need to help each other take action.
Life is what you make of it so what are you going to make possible today?
So many of my clients talk to me about how they suffer with low self esteem and self worth. They feel they are not good enough and believe the people around them are doing so much better than they are, which makes them feel like a failure. Unfortunately this is only fuelled by social media, as they see perfect snapshots of the people they know living this ‘amazing life’. However the snapshots do not show the parents arguing or the child having a meltdown or how stressed they were before the photo was taken. It also doesn’t tell you how much debt they are in or the state of their marriage or how unhappy or sad they are. All it shows is a moment that looks like they are all having an amazing time! If you are not feeling good about yourself or life is difficult at the moment these images just increase your feelings of low self esteem and self worth. Social media is not the place to go if you want to feel better about yourself and your life!
The good news is there is a way you can become the person you've always dreamed of being. And you can start right now, as the place to go to improve your self esteem and self worth is your mind! The secret to building lasting confidence in yourself is to focus on your beliefs; which is easier than you think it is. Our beliefs affect every aspect of our life. They're the basis for our thoughts, our actions, and our level of self esteem and worth. They are the stories we tell ourselves about who we believe we are. How you perceive yourself and your abilities will determine the quality of your life. For example, if you believe you're not worthy of success, you'll shy away from opportunities that present themselves, and sabotage your efforts. The same is true in your personal life. If you don't feel you deserve the love and admiration of someone special in your life, you'll end up attracting the opposite.
The consequence of these types of actions is that you feel you have 'proof' of your inadequacy and a reason for your low self esteem. It's a vicious cycle that keeping going around and around. The key to stopping the cycle is learning how to build self esteem and tackling these beliefs at their very core. You have to destroy the limiting beliefs holding you back, and develop an empowering new belief system.
The difficulty normally lies in getting to these buried beliefs. They're often subconscious and hidden from our everyday thoughts. The key is to not over think the process and allow your brain to bring them out naturally. To do this, you simply need to listen to the story you are telling yourself that is preventing you from acting in a certain way. For example if you are holding yourself back from being more confident, listen to the story you are telling yourself. For example, you may be saying that you are a shy person. Look back to when you first believed this, who told you this etc. If this was a belief when you were a small child, remember you are not a child anymore and you are confident in some situations. Then look for evidence when you were not shy. Use this evidence to break down your old belief and change your belief to ‘you are a confident person’ and keep thinking about all the evidence when you have been confident to strengthen your new belief.
This doesn't have to be a time consuming process either. A few minutes of reflection each day can lead to amazing transformations in your thoughts and beliefs. You can accomplish this through listening to your inner voice, meditation, journaling, or doing exercises which will help develop your new beliefs and show you how to build self esteem.
‘It's not who you are that holds you back. It who you think you are not.’
If you would like help to work on building your self esteem and changing your beliefs, please contact me to arrange a free 30 minute consultation.
I've been a full time hypnotherapist and mind coach for over 12 years. My unique approach to therapy is client centred and I aim to educate and empower my clients to enable them to make positive choices and changes in their lives.