So many of my clients talk to me about how they suffer with low self esteem and self worth. They feel they are not good enough and believe the people around them are doing so much better than they are, which makes them feel like a failure. Unfortunately this is only fuelled by social media, as they see perfect snapshots of the people they know living this ‘amazing life’. However the snapshots do not show the parents arguing or the child having a meltdown or how stressed they were before the photo was taken. It also doesn’t tell you how much debt they are in or the state of their marriage or how unhappy or sad they are. All it shows is a moment that looks like they are all having an amazing time! If you are not feeling good about yourself or life is difficult at the moment these images just increase your feelings of low self esteem and self worth. Social media is not the place to go if you want to feel better about yourself and your life!
The good news is there is a way you can become the person you've always dreamed of being. And you can start right now, as the place to go to improve your self esteem and self worth is your mind! The secret to building lasting confidence in yourself is to focus on your beliefs; which is easier than you think it is. Our beliefs affect every aspect of our life. They're the basis for our thoughts, our actions, and our level of self esteem and worth. They are the stories we tell ourselves about who we believe we are. How you perceive yourself and your abilities will determine the quality of your life. For example, if you believe you're not worthy of success, you'll shy away from opportunities that present themselves, and sabotage your efforts. The same is true in your personal life. If you don't feel you deserve the love and admiration of someone special in your life, you'll end up attracting the opposite.
The consequence of these types of actions is that you feel you have 'proof' of your inadequacy and a reason for your low self esteem. It's a vicious cycle that keeping going around and around. The key to stopping the cycle is learning how to build self esteem and tackling these beliefs at their very core. You have to destroy the limiting beliefs holding you back, and develop an empowering new belief system.
The difficulty normally lies in getting to these buried beliefs. They're often subconscious and hidden from our everyday thoughts. The key is to not over think the process and allow your brain to bring them out naturally. To do this, you simply need to listen to the story you are telling yourself that is preventing you from acting in a certain way. For example if you are holding yourself back from being more confident, listen to the story you are telling yourself. For example, you may be saying that you are a shy person. Look back to when you first believed this, who told you this etc. If this was a belief when you were a small child, remember you are not a child anymore and you are confident in some situations. Then look for evidence when you were not shy. Use this evidence to break down your old belief and change your belief to ‘you are a confident person’ and keep thinking about all the evidence when you have been confident to strengthen your new belief.
This doesn't have to be a time consuming process either. A few minutes of reflection each day can lead to amazing transformations in your thoughts and beliefs. You can accomplish this through listening to your inner voice, meditation, journaling, or doing exercises which will help develop your new beliefs and show you how to build self esteem.
‘It's not who you are that holds you back. It who you think you are not.’
If you would like help to work on building your self esteem and changing your beliefs, please contact me to arrange a free 30 minute consultation.